Thank you to everyone who has commented, tweeted and emailed caring thoughts about my best girl, Scout. I appreciate every word and virtual {hug} more than you know!!!
Yesterday was a rough day - with no other options & no more time to stall, we chose to have Scout's troublesome, tumor-ridden leg amputated. 3 prior surgeries were no match for its extremely aggressive growth - and now the deed is done. I know she'll bounce back b/c she's the toughest chick I know; however, I am still in shock & quite sick to my stomach that this was the course of action we had to take. Not solely b/c of the drastic measure but also b/c it's Big Mama Scout. (If it were our other dog George, I know I would barely be upset at all - truthfully.)
To put it mildly, Scout has had a rough life: she endured harsh abuse for the first 4 years of her life - while the physical scars are superficial, her emotional scars run very, very deep. When she was 'found' (either tied to a tree with a rope or wandering a road in the backwoods of WV - we've heard 2 different stories), she was emaciated, flea-bitten, injured, sick and pregnant. Only one of her puppies survived b/c they were born so sickly (which has its fair share of grief for a mama dog); she had trouble with the birth and almost died on the operating table. When she was finally well-enough to be adopted, nobody came. Nobody wanted this beautiful, sweet girl. In that rural area of WV, dogs like Scout are a dime a dozen - if they can hunt, they'll be kept. If not, they'll be kicked to the curb. As such, her time was up, and she was in a high-kill shelter where the method of euthanasia is not humane (think worse than a gas chamber).
Fortunately, fate stepped up in big, big way within a day of her impending death date. A woman named Sandra who had a rescue named "Angel Rescue" saw her, and b/c Scout reminded her of a dog she had had previously, she took her home, loved her, nursed her bruises & ego - and fostered her until a loving family found her on petfinder.org.
Enter the DiCintio family, June 2003. Our previous doggie had just been put to sleep, and we were heartbroken. We couldn't stand life without the jingle of a collar, the smell of cornchip/grass feet or the nuzzle of a fuzzy, loyal friend - so we started looking on petfinder just to see who was out there that needed a good home. It didn't take long to find Scout or to know she was the one - something in her eyes drew us in instantly, something that hinted at a super smart, very intuitive, good girl. In her listing photo, she stood in front of a fully-bloomed hedge of forsythia with her striking black coat, ears tightly pinned to her head out of complete fear and, of course, her white paw. Oh, the white paw! Jack was 5 at the time; he took one look at that picture and got a b-i-g smile when he saw her white paw! That was all the cue we needed to make the call.
We inquired about her, and the foster mom Sandra was right in our hometown of Reading PA, of all coincidences (not a state or 2 states away!). She brought her over that very evening - Matt and I gave our secret code to one another that we each liked her a lot - and Sandra was happy she found the right family for her. B/c of everything Scout had been through, bringing up her levels of confidence, trust and happiness was a tough job. She was scared shitless for 3 mos - very afraid to show emotion or get into a car or do anything but be on her back showing submissiveness. Soooo sad. We loved her, praised her, played with her, trained her and loved her some more. She started coming out of her shell in the 4th month - she mended our hearts as much as we mended hers.
I've always felt a profound sense of gratitude toward Scout - and a desperate need to keep her from any other suffering in her life: our duty and debt to her for healing us when she had been through such trauma herself. Each time she had surgery for her tumor, my heart broke a little bit for her. And, now with the removal of her entire leg, there is no more white paw and my heart broke a lot at the thought of her having to endure the rest of her days without being "herself." But she's here, her fighting spirit is intact and we are ever so grateful. She will not dwell on it, so I will not dwell.
As I wrote this, I was thinking, "Jan, you're talking about a dog for crikey's sake!" Yep, I know. A dog that has shaped my life for 6 incredible years - would I be who I am today or where I am today without her? Not even close. I don't pretend to think this is worse than that of real human suffering or better than realizing real human potential, but it's all relative to one's own everyday moments and experiences. I don't discount the magnitude of what her presence in my life means for a single second. It all matters. More than anything, the white paw mattered.
Thanks for letting me share. There will be a few more rough days/weeks, but I hope to be back to regular stuff soon!
P.S. She is named after Scout in "To Kill a Mockingbird" - a girl who is not afraid to fight.
P.P.S. She is a Louisiana Catahoula Leopard dog - I get asked this a lot!
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Special thank you to my dear friend Lisa (milkshake), who lost her best friend Luco a couple weeks ago. Without Lisa's insight and willingness to share her true feelings, I don't think Scout would be here - and I would be telling a different story.
