If anyone finds a way to fit a dog with opposable thumbs, lemme know. I need these 2 ne'er-do-wells to do more than laze about all day. Well, for Scout, maybe I could fit her with a whole new leg that includes a sort of chimp hand at the bottom. That would be sublime!
I'm certain she's asute enough to tackle a few things on my list! Wouldn't even have to waste time training her b/c usually eye contact is enough for her to know exactly what I'm thinking! Loyalty to her employer? Unwavering. Work ethic? Unsurpassed. Steps in poop? Never - approved for fabric handling.
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Then there's George. Maybe we can start by fitting him with a brain without so many rocks in it, then we can move onto thumbs. Poor fella - he tries and tries and tries, and his cuteness is all that prevails in his attempts! Enthusiasm for ______ (anything)? Exceptional. Attitude? Exceedingly pleasant. Steps in poop? I plead the 5th on his adorable behalf (not approved for fabric handling).